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22.1. Through the light barrier

I have a small book that I came across in 1986. It is extraordinary, unlike any other book I have ever read – an incomparable book, as it says in the publisher's preface.

It is called «Through the light barrier» and is an automatic writing (psychography) written by Bente Müller, who lives half an hour outside Oslo and belongs to the generation above me.

Bente Müller says that the book was written through her, not by her. She had no education beyond high school and described herself as a «cultural and scientific illiterate» at the time.

Shortly after the experience with Jesus on Highway 4 in December 2015, I suddenly needed to find this book and put it on the bedside table. There it lay. It took two and a half years before I reopened and read it in its entirety in June 2018.

Many «spiritual dictations» have been published, received from «something more enlightened». I have read some of them, but not very many, because they often appear quite foggy.

There is usually a fundamental insight or a series of mysterious experiences. That can be interesting and valuable enough, but then the author is happy to track down and mix in their own things, not always fully understanding how the inspired insight fits into the big picture.

The reason is simply that the communicator does not know the big picture.

I end up putting down such books after reading maybe half and then skimming the rest to get confirmation that it is happening again, as usual.

Bente Müller's book is also a bit like that, or that's how I perceived it in 1986.


What I'm saying is not true.

Yes, it's true, but my entire intuitive antenna system took in something more. Something in this book stuck in my mind in 1986, while Alma was still there, or shortly thereafter.

The language is esoteric, mysterious, flourishing. In my ears, it is a female energy that speaks. The form is lyrical, poetic. The references to the Bible are many.

At the same time, there is talk of light, photons, electrons, the speed of light, the atom.

Bente Müller herself calls the book a «cosmogram».

It goes too far to embroider the content here. You must read it yourself; it is available free of charge for Norwegian readers on It was also published in English in 2017:For me, two things are interesting about this book right now.

First, it sowed a central seed in me, an idea. More on that in a moment.

Secondly, I must admit that I now understand what the book says. I can «translate» it while reading. The text agrees with everything I have presented in this, my own book.

It sounds arrogant, but my understanding of the «big picture» has evolved tremendously in recent years. Or let me put it this way, all of a sudden, the big picture «is» there. The book you are now reading gives you a glimpse into it.

It was not there in 1986, but at that time, I intuitively understood it had to be there somewhere. Like everything else in this world, it must have grown in me in the form of fragments and sensations and then reached a threshold where suddenly the whole perspective, the point of view, changed.

There was an emergent reinterpretation, a kind of phase transition, after years of normalisation, open intuition, suffering in the form of perceived lack and loss, a boiled frog refusing to let go, and a breakthrough, a fall, a necessary change of perspective – and subsequent new insight.

That is how it can be described using my personal terminology. It's a seemingly chaotic process, but, in hindsight, it's not at all chaotic, just complex.

Growth, to say the same thing in one word.

It illustrates how a spiritual awakening takes place.

On the morning of June 15, 2018, after spending part of the night reading «Through the light barrier» again after thirty-two years, I wrote the following little note to myself:
Through the light barrier contains in full detail everything I intuitively know – what I feel so strongly that I must try to say in words. The things of which I seek knowledge. The issues that concern me most deeply. The core of seriousness. The relationship between the material and the spiritual. That which is in the spaces between what we perceive. Everything is described in whole truth in this tiny book.
All right.

But what insight did I find?

Essentially, there was one fundamental idea that took up residence in me. In Bente's book, on page 49, it says (my translation):
The light barrier is
the highest speed of movement
for energy
in material form
it is the limit
light can not exceed

For the Thought
no speed limit applies

The Thought can feed itself
on its own growth

Its movement is energy-creating!

By absorbing friction energy
from the resistance in anything it penetrates
the Thought can, by continuous movement,
increase its power and speed
to infinity!

Infinite speed
is the primordial speed of the Thought
that is, the speed
which resets the Thought to its original state

But – so far
the human thought has not yet arrived

It has not yet realised
that it exists
It is unconscious,
and unbaptised
In short, it is
the willless slave of matter

To be free
and gain natural strength,
Thought must discover itself.
The sentence that stuck in me in 1986 was a reformulation of the last line above:

«Thought has not yet discovered itself.»

Can you imagine walking around for over thirty years pondering this one question?

«What is thought?»

The same day I reread the book from cover to cover in 2018, I wrote down another sentence in continuation of the first. I scribbled it down with a black ballpoint pen on a small note that has been on my bedside table for the past four years:

«Everything you think is valid», I wrote.

That has been the mantra of the book you are now reading.

I mention it because it shows the long and winding road to what I now consider self-evident; that idealism is the correct philosophical understanding – that the world is Thought.

But when the work on the book began, I was still unsure.

I, therefore, took it upon myself to investigate whether it is possible to «prove». A minimum requirement must then be that everything that exists in the world must be possible to explain from this hypothesis:

«Everything is one, and this one is ... consciousness» it has become – because I quickly discovered that the thought is inside consciousness and that the two are not the same. One can experience things without thinking.

The result of this «proof» – this long chain of inductions – is now available in this book.

Let me add that for the first two years, I skimmed through half a thousand scientific articles every single day in search of knowledge and insights. I put more than fifty scientific journals in Feedly, an app you can use to monitor sources.

I read up on the latest in quantum, particle and astrophysics – and other relevant disciplines. I have ploughed through loads of books, videos, everything. I have followed two online lecture series, Particle Physics and Metaphysics, at the University of New York. Nowadays, this is possible to do from your living room.

I have also been to various lectures at the University of Oslo, but without much benefit, I am afraid. The universities stick to the established.

During my daily bike rides, ideas and epiphanies have dumped into me, and I have stopped for a minute or five and recorded them on my mobile. There are more than two thousand of these sound clips alone.

The source material constitutes at least ten thousand stored information objects.

The goal was to categorise and systematise them, but I have given up. To be honest, I have finally lost track of my sources, which is a good thing because then I had to free myself from the material and tell the story based on myself instead of producing a rigid document.

Therefore, the book has the personal form it has.