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1.1. A wolf

That was the overview, some crucial things in my prehistory in compressed form. But several other elements and events in my life must be added to this story.

The point, however, is not to talk about me, me, me.

I would gladly have let go of this focus on my person, but as you may realise, it is impossible to judge the following chapters without understanding from where the insights come.

Am I crazy?

Can one place any trust in something that comes from a person who is so totally out of sync with other people and also with large parts of society, science, the church, culture, media – most of it?

I'm an extreme outsider, a wolf in sheep's clothing, even a lone wolf among wolves.

It is not often people like me show the cards.

«Ordinary» people, sheep, to go with the metaphor, are afraid, go in droves, behave the same way and are terrified of any potential threat.

I'm in a position where I'm not afraid because I always had to secure myself. I know how to deal with fear.

I'm also a lone wolf because I was diagnosed with complex PTSD as an infant.

I lack the ability to enter into «normal» relationships, but I know no other reality. I was practically born that way. I even have to keep my distance from «my own» as well, i.e. those who have similar injuries and are also wolves, nor do most of them understand my perspective.

In all my life, I have met only one person who I believe sees the same as me, basically is like me, but even that I can not know for sure, because she is probably just as injured and even more shy and dismissive than myself.

She plays an essential role as a driving force in this story, as you will see. I call her Alma to protect her true identity.

Wolves are needed.

«Norwegian nature without wolves is not interesting», a guy said recently on national television, connected to wolves being shot almost continuously in this country.

He believes that the wolf, being at the very top of the food chain, sets the conditions for everything lower in the chain. Take a look at this video which shows what happened as the wolf was reintroduced into a landscape where it was extinct: How Wolves Change Rivers - YouTube.

The world also needs lone wolves; we are more important than people understand.

Said the wolf himself.

Okay? Let's move on.