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7. Jesus on Highway 4

Thirty years after Alma, I am overtaken by something higher. I had an experience that again expanded my perspective. And this new insight came on top of the old; the existing depth within me where the stick-child still sat and stirred and stirred the cauldron of previous knowledge.
One day in December 2015, I had my daily bicycle ride down Highway 4 towards Oslo city centre.

In the preceding days and weeks, I had been listening to the Bible as an audiobook while cycling. When you only use open headphones, it's okay to cycle and listen to audiobooks.

The Bible is ninety per cent violence. There are endless listings of people and lineages – poorly read in this specific case, ninety-four hours in total.

It's an infinity of wars and the slaughter of ethnic groups the Jews wanted to expel or wipe off the earth's surface to make room for the elect.

Not so unlike the situation now.

I forced myself through it all to see if I could find the religious elements between the killings. I was still searching for myself.

In this bloody adventure, Jesus appears.

I hurried down Highway 4 and approached the end of the New Testament Gospels.

The words flowed past, as people, dogs and cars did.

I stopped for a moment, for no reason.

I stood still in the lane reserved for cyclists.

Jesus hovered around inside my head. I was in this flow state that speed and monotony sometimes create, akin to meditation.

In retrospect, I have no memory of where in the text I was.

I do not remember what precisely was said.

I remember how it felt.

An intense white light was all around me. A comforting sensation. Absolute love. Absolute joy. Absolute brightness. Freedom from all pain. Total friendliness, goodness and calm.

I experienced the will of Jesus.

And the message?

He wants us to be what we are.


Everything is perfect.

These are the words I wrote down in my diary that evening. They give me goosebumps because this happened before my breakdown, before the awakening took off, and before I had any idea what was coming.

We must be who we are. Everything is perfect exactly as it is, out of necessity.

How long did it last?

Ten seconds? Thirty? A full minute?

The question is not relevant.

The incident had nothing to do with time.

The new thing was the experience, the qualia.

That was a classic «revelation,» a solid dose of spiritual insight delivered as revelations tend to be delivered; suddenly and without warning, with great strength and clarity, and with a left-behind feeling that something had changed at that moment.

I rode on.

«I'm not a Christian,» I thought to myself.

It was not really something new either, but an unequivocal confirmation of something I have always known. Now I knew it even more.

The experience was similar to the one I had at Lyngseidet as a young boy.

Absolute knowledge.

I received something that day.

The next phase began that day.